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A letter to a friend

Hi,

In this technology driven world we have completely missed out the beauty of writing letters to our closed ones. As soon as we turn ON the Mobile Internet Switch, we expect a beep showing message from our loved ones. Who doesn’t like surprises? I personally find it hard to explain about someone by writing on a touch display. Hence, this letter, a little surprise. I have always admired women like you in my life.

Why and how you became the lead character in my story? There is something inside you that has always intrigued me. It was because of the strong, elegant, distinct, positive vibe that you carry around yourself. You know what you want, and that is the first thing that attracts me towards you. You don’t blindly accept the role you were conditioned by others to fill. Being raised in a conservative family you know your limits and restrictions. You abide to your duties towards your parents but at the same time you go out discovering yourself; most of the people won’t do under restrictions.

I never knew how strong you are until you spoke of stressing the importance of taking responsibility for your own financial future instead of leaving it in the hands of spouse. It shows that you are responsible for creating your life. You never uttered a word which shows your dependence on someone else.

Me: What do you think about Marilyn Monroe or Monica Bellucci?

She: (laughs) (leans back on the chair, with her one leg pressing against the other) Marilyn was a strong woman and at the same time she never got her love. She was depressed and used to drink. I would never drink in my life, because my dad drinks a lot and my mother doesn’t like it. I don’t know much about Monica Bellucci. I haven’t seen any of her movies.

We haven’t spent much time together, I guess few hours. In this period I have just listened to what you were saying. I observed you, your body language. You are confident in your own skin. You know you are pretty. I would better describe it in your words.

Me: What is your fashion statement, reveal skin or being conservative yet pretty?

She: I like being comfortable in what I wear. I may reveal skin, only when I am assured that if 10 eyes are looking at me, my man can give them the single eye which would turn them down. 

That brought a real man out of me. Trust me. You are very aware of your sexuality. Different women have widely varying opinions on what kind of sexual expression they personally prefer, ranging from waiting until marriage to having guilt-free one-night stands. But you gave a simple yet inspiring answer, “What else do you need to know if you are able to satisfy your man?” That projects confidence. You know what role sex will play in your life.

You have the courage to express yourself authentically. I have seen most of the relationships where women expect men to understand them and unknowingly get depressed by the very fact that their partners aren’t good mind readers. You ask for what you want; you don’t expect others to be mind-readers. You teach others how you want to be treated — not by dropping hints but by telling them directly. You know that you deserve to be heard.

Me: How would you represent yourself at workplace?

She: At workplace I would compete to earn a position for myself. If someone doesn’t like my work I would like to know why he/she doesn’t like it. It’s not people pleasing, it’s self improvement. 

You always try to explore your creative side. You put your ideas into physical form. You are highly intuitive. Hence, you are better at making men chase you. I would like you to know that being alpha woman is a good thing, but do remember that this alpha thing unnecessarily complicates relationships. You need a man who is equally strong and who knows how to handle you with your own brain.

Keep learning and growing. In the long run, your wisdom will become one of your greatest assets, both as a way to meet your own needs and to help others. Your brain and beauty will make you reach great heights.

Kabir

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What India, What America?

Me: Hi
She: Hi 

Me: I need your help

men_vs_women
She: (with her arms folded around her chest) How can I help you?
Me: I need a quick female opinion on…….

Conversation kicks off but her body language contradicts with her words. She seems to be open with her answers but her body is closed. Why? Possible reasons could be that she is unaware of my intentions or probably she sees me as a threat. Did I do anything? Was my body language projecting my need for mating? Do I always look desperate for sex? Was I really desperate? Did I think of sex before approaching her? There are many questions that can arise out of the situation.

India is witnessing a change in male-female relationships. Women today are competing with men and are having a greater exposure than they had in the past few decades. On the other hand, men aren’t familiar with the situation where women can lead men. We all will remain slaves of our mating instincts no matter how much we progress. This is the root cause of all the problems that are encountered in the contemporary Indian society. Men see women as potential mates and women tend to protect themselves from mating. Apart from mating, men-women in the modern world share lots of other relationships. First we need to understand the fact that mating is basic to humans all over the world. A man will always see at butt when a woman leaves the door. There’s nothing wrong. But the way such things are perceived in today’s society has some issues.

She: (with her hands in front of her body, palms up and shoulders shrugged) This is not the place where you can talk with men. Big cities or metro cities are places where people won’t mind if a girl and boy talks. Also, people are quite open minded.
Me: What do you mean by open minded?
She: You know, just because I am nice to him, he shouldn’t think that I like him. Just because we are talking doesn’t mean I want him to fuck me.
Me: Why don’t you find me narrow minded? You didn’t give a thought before using the word ‘fuck’ in front of me.
She: (laughs) Everyone is not like you.
Me: I know

What I want to say is, a girl and a boy can have conversation at any place and at any time. It’s all in your mind that a particular place is good and a particular place is bad. To change the society we need to change individual thinking. If women aren’t open to men, if they perceive men as nothing but addicts of their carnal desires they would do nothing except creating barriers between their freedom and themselves. Freedom is a state of mind. Men on the other hand, need to understand that being casanova isn’t the only way to define your masculinity. Don’t approach women with the pure intention of getting laid. Believe me a woman can make a lot of difference in your life besides tits and ass.

She: Someone sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Me: What did you do?
She: Nothing, he’s a jerk
Me: How did you know?
She: We don’t have any mutual friend, I don’t know him personally.
Me: Yes you are right, you don’t know him personally. What if he had approached you in real life say, at a coffee shop?
She: Why me?
Me: Because you’re pretty, charming and interesting.
She: I know, and I hate when people stare at me. Ha, if someone handsome is there, I would give it a thought. (winks with a naughty smile)
Me: (laugh) 

Well, Facebook or any other social networking media has privacy options. Its individuals call if they like to be open or private. In case of real life, beautiful women are approached daily by lots of men. They like some and they reject a few. There’s no harm in approaching a beautiful women unless you want her directly in your bed after exchanging Hi.

We all watch american movies. We have seen how they have defined men-women relationships. At some point we want to have such relationships. Friends with benefits, No strings attached, Love and other drugs have exceptionally defined romance in a new way. Is it possible to understand the true nature of such relationships at a place where people have gender bias at every step. You visit any temple, any queue of people waiting for paying electricity bill or buying railway tickets, most of the schools and colleges you will see men and women have different lanes, different benches, different queues. Why? A child goes to school and from his childhood he sees a girl as something different, because she sits in a different row than boys. Worst is the case with same sex schools. Do you think he would be able to mix up with women at work place? How much do they understand each other? Is healthy flirting a different thing? Most of the people will say flirting is bad. They will immediately doubt other person’s intentions. You cannot flirt with your friend. If she has a boyfriend then she is double pissed, first by your unusual flirting and later by her boyfriend’s possessiveness. Sex is fun. But is often perceived as a bad thing. Who made it bad? We.
We need to understand the basics of human relations. Of course I would mate with a woman rather than a sheep. I am not that animal fantasy guy. But this doesn’t mean I can’t have a casual conversation with women. This doesn’t mean I can stay out at night and work with a beautiful lady. This doesn’t say that if my profession is to photograph nude models, I won’t arouse their emotions by little bit of flirting to have better pictures. How else would you maintain professionalism if you aren’t in control of your carnal desires? Remember healthy flirting? One thing that needs to be changed is parenting the child in terms of relationships. A teenager is ought to have or at least think of sexual encounters. Our job is to guide him the right way. He is physically ready for intercourse. Our task is to prepare him mentally with proper ethics. Until we are clear and above our mating instincts we wont be able to enjoy a true male-female relationship.