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What India, What America?

Me: Hi
She: Hi 

Me: I need your help

men_vs_women
She: (with her arms folded around her chest) How can I help you?
Me: I need a quick female opinion on…….

Conversation kicks off but her body language contradicts with her words. She seems to be open with her answers but her body is closed. Why? Possible reasons could be that she is unaware of my intentions or probably she sees me as a threat. Did I do anything? Was my body language projecting my need for mating? Do I always look desperate for sex? Was I really desperate? Did I think of sex before approaching her? There are many questions that can arise out of the situation.

India is witnessing a change in male-female relationships. Women today are competing with men and are having a greater exposure than they had in the past few decades. On the other hand, men aren’t familiar with the situation where women can lead men. We all will remain slaves of our mating instincts no matter how much we progress. This is the root cause of all the problems that are encountered in the contemporary Indian society. Men see women as potential mates and women tend to protect themselves from mating. Apart from mating, men-women in the modern world share lots of other relationships. First we need to understand the fact that mating is basic to humans all over the world. A man will always see at butt when a woman leaves the door. There’s nothing wrong. But the way such things are perceived in today’s society has some issues.

She: (with her hands in front of her body, palms up and shoulders shrugged) This is not the place where you can talk with men. Big cities or metro cities are places where people won’t mind if a girl and boy talks. Also, people are quite open minded.
Me: What do you mean by open minded?
She: You know, just because I am nice to him, he shouldn’t think that I like him. Just because we are talking doesn’t mean I want him to fuck me.
Me: Why don’t you find me narrow minded? You didn’t give a thought before using the word ‘fuck’ in front of me.
She: (laughs) Everyone is not like you.
Me: I know

What I want to say is, a girl and a boy can have conversation at any place and at any time. It’s all in your mind that a particular place is good and a particular place is bad. To change the society we need to change individual thinking. If women aren’t open to men, if they perceive men as nothing but addicts of their carnal desires they would do nothing except creating barriers between their freedom and themselves. Freedom is a state of mind. Men on the other hand, need to understand that being casanova isn’t the only way to define your masculinity. Don’t approach women with the pure intention of getting laid. Believe me a woman can make a lot of difference in your life besides tits and ass.

She: Someone sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Me: What did you do?
She: Nothing, he’s a jerk
Me: How did you know?
She: We don’t have any mutual friend, I don’t know him personally.
Me: Yes you are right, you don’t know him personally. What if he had approached you in real life say, at a coffee shop?
She: Why me?
Me: Because you’re pretty, charming and interesting.
She: I know, and I hate when people stare at me. Ha, if someone handsome is there, I would give it a thought. (winks with a naughty smile)
Me: (laugh) 

Well, Facebook or any other social networking media has privacy options. Its individuals call if they like to be open or private. In case of real life, beautiful women are approached daily by lots of men. They like some and they reject a few. There’s no harm in approaching a beautiful women unless you want her directly in your bed after exchanging Hi.

We all watch american movies. We have seen how they have defined men-women relationships. At some point we want to have such relationships. Friends with benefits, No strings attached, Love and other drugs have exceptionally defined romance in a new way. Is it possible to understand the true nature of such relationships at a place where people have gender bias at every step. You visit any temple, any queue of people waiting for paying electricity bill or buying railway tickets, most of the schools and colleges you will see men and women have different lanes, different benches, different queues. Why? A child goes to school and from his childhood he sees a girl as something different, because she sits in a different row than boys. Worst is the case with same sex schools. Do you think he would be able to mix up with women at work place? How much do they understand each other? Is healthy flirting a different thing? Most of the people will say flirting is bad. They will immediately doubt other person’s intentions. You cannot flirt with your friend. If she has a boyfriend then she is double pissed, first by your unusual flirting and later by her boyfriend’s possessiveness. Sex is fun. But is often perceived as a bad thing. Who made it bad? We.
We need to understand the basics of human relations. Of course I would mate with a woman rather than a sheep. I am not that animal fantasy guy. But this doesn’t mean I can’t have a casual conversation with women. This doesn’t mean I can stay out at night and work with a beautiful lady. This doesn’t say that if my profession is to photograph nude models, I won’t arouse their emotions by little bit of flirting to have better pictures. How else would you maintain professionalism if you aren’t in control of your carnal desires? Remember healthy flirting? One thing that needs to be changed is parenting the child in terms of relationships. A teenager is ought to have or at least think of sexual encounters. Our job is to guide him the right way. He is physically ready for intercourse. Our task is to prepare him mentally with proper ethics. Until we are clear and above our mating instincts we wont be able to enjoy a true male-female relationship.

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THE INVISIBLE BUBBLE OF LIFE

Looking at the see-through bubble tents I amazed myself with the ideas of leaving aside everything and having a great time living inside such tents. It’s really easy. I just need to put hand in my pocket and buy myself the pleasure of sitting, staring at the clouds, thinking about nothing and sleeping without a care. Bubble-Tree2-690x517

Why is it so that we like lives of other people and find our lives boring? It’s because we never buy ourselves the bubble we want to live in. Yes, that’s true. We all tend to live in an invisible bubble around us which is made of our daily thoughts. Am I asking you to build an imaginary life made of nothing but thoughts? What we are today is the result of our thoughts in past. I think readers who are reading this have got the answer.

Changing thought process is not a one day process. To buy thoughts is not as easy as to buy two nights at Bubble Tree. It’s really difficult to find your life interesting at a point where you have nothing of what you’ve thought. Hence a research gets much of attention because it states the true fact: 47 per cent of our thinking has aimless thoughts. We tend to get stuck in the very thought process of “I have nothing”, “I am getting bored”, “This is not good”, etc. Slowly we get adapted to such thinking. We accept our life but unknowingly we change our behaviour. In the modern-day book of etiquettes there is no greater sin than that of being dull. We live dull lives. Why?

While I am writing this I am looking at the picture where a chair lies outside the bubble tree tent. Imagine yourself sitting on the chair and have a look at your own life. If you are still thinking of dullness in your life then beware you’re not on the chair outside. Now think of beautiful aspects in your life. See how beautiful your life is. See the aspects of life which were getting ignored when you were inside the bubble. You’ve started your transition to a better life. Well begun is half done!

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PERSPECTIVE

Disagreement occurs when two people share different and contradicting perspectives on a subject. I have been surrounded by controversies ever since my toddler age. Wherever I go controversies follow me. Well that’s as true as you would spell MONDAY. 😉 What happens to you when you feel the society -in which you live- as a bounding on you? You search for wings; wings to fly high, alone, free and randomly. I don’t live a life where I think of those fucking “four” persons who are always ready to judge your shit. I wear what I want. I put accessories I like. I choose, I lose, I drive, and I dive. I speak, I raise voice, I challenge and I oppose if I find something wrong. I don’t keep alter ego to live my life. I live the way I want. There is no alias to me. Sometimes I have a view and sometimes I don’t have a view on anything. Shackles of society, caste, race, religion, sex, and relations don’t bind me. Many of us are good at self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Ask yourself what is your favourite thing about yourself? This is what I like about me. What about you?

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WHAT’S YOUR RELATION?

You have experienced a bad relationship. Heartbreaks can be really painful. You meet someone who gives you attention, affection, care and love. Your mind subconsciously wants to experience love again, and even if you want to avoid dating for a while, you can’t help but fall into the trap of love almost immediately. But you have no idea about how the relationship is going. You’re having a lot of fun in your new lover’s arms, but you don’t even know what kind of a relationship you’re in. You’re more focused on the fun part of the new romance than the serious parts that really matter in a new relationship. You may find yourself in a confused state of mind often even though you’re happy in your new romance. Almost always, you’ll be happy when you’re with your new squeeze but depressed and confused when you’re alone. It takes time to get over someone you truly loved. For some, it may take a few weeks and for others, it may take several months.

It may seem like you’re opening up to your new lover by frankly talking about your ex like you have no feelings for them. But deep inside, the whole reason you’re talking about your ex with anyone who cares to listen is because you still have feelings for them. You don’t remember how you got over your ex. You may hate your ex or feel relieved to have ended the relationship with them. You may even be happy with your new partner. But deep down inside, you know you’ll step right back into your ex’s arms if they just make a sweet move at you. You may try to convince yourself that you’re over your ex and happy in a new relationship, but the fact that your ex still occupies so many of your happy thoughts means you’re still not over them.

You want attention. You just want to reassure yourself that you’re still hot stuff and can get attention whenever you want. You find yourself constantly looking out even though you’re in a new relationship already.

All these things only reveal your current state of mind. If you’re in a relationship for any reason but love, it’s a sure sign that you’re only passing through a rebound relationship to bide your time. But are you in an intentional rebound relationship? If you’re in a rebound relationship, it’s always best to tell your new lover that you’re not ready for a serious relationship just yet. It’ll help both of you take things slowly without too many expectations or heartbreaks.

If you’re truly in love, you’ll be afraid to take chances or make any hasty moves. But if you’re in a rebound relationship, all you’d want to do is go full speed ahead into the relationship because you don’t really care about losing your new love. You’re not trying to make the relationship work. You’re happy and your new date is happy. You don’t look for ways to keep the relationship alive. All you want is someone who can hold you when you want to be held.

Just because you’re experiencing these signs of a rebound relationship doesn’t mean your new found romance is doomed from the start. The decision to enter the next phase of love or just play it casual is still in your own hands.

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KARMA CHAMELEON

REINCARNATION: DO YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT?

Born in a Hindu Brahmin family I have gone through rituals right from my birth. I was introduced to Reincarnation recently when I saw my Kundli (Natal chart). A section in my natal chart talks about my previous life. It says that I was an Ashva (a Horse) in previous life. It’s hard to believe. Hinduism and other ancient religions along with some modern religion like Spiritism, Theosophy, and Eckankar have a common belief that the soul or spirit, after biological death, begins a new life in a new body that may be human, animal or spiritual depending on the moral quality of the previous life’s actions.

Karma is what I believe in. Tulsidas, a Hindu saint, said: “Our destiny was shaped long before the body came into being.” Then there are people who say: Our destiny lies in our own hands. I go with the latter one. Hindus provide several reasons why the life takes on various physical bodies:572px-Reincarnation2

  1. To experience the fruits of one’s karmas
  2. To satisfy one’s desires
  3. To complete one’s unfinished sadhana
  4. To fulfil a debt
  5. To undergo sufferings because of a great soul’s curse
  6. To attain moksha

I believe that each life on this planet has a specific role to play. To me this is my life. What’s life before birth and what’s life after death is meaningless. You achieve and lose everything and nothing in this life. It’s true that not all desires get fulfilled in one single life. If reincarnation is true I should know my unfulfilled desire of previous life as a horse. Do I know it? Nope! One should understand the fact that he/she is a part of this world and what is it that he/she can give to this world. Try putting more into this world than taking out from it. Animals have instincts and they play their role. We humans have brains but we seldom use it.

For me the above six reasons for reincarnation held true if applied for a single lifetime and not for cycles of life. One experiences the consequences of his/her deeds. One tends to satisfy all his/her desires. One learns (sadhana) throughout his life. One fulfils his/her debt in one or the other way. I don’t believe in curse and blessings. When you die you recall what you have done in your life. If that satisfies you then you have attained moksha. So I would like to say one thing, believe in yourself and live your life. 

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POLITE COMPANY

Once I was travelling to New Delhi from Nagpur. In my company there were a Buddhist Monk (Bhikkhu) and a young Christian man. I am a Hindu. The discussion kicked off with general topic of introduction. Of course the monk didn’t need any introduction. He was wearing a reddish-yellow robe. The other guy was young, fat and talkative. Most people think that it’s never a good idea to discuss religion or politics with people you don’t really know. I don’t think so. A conversatiImageon gets dirty only when we speak without listening or we don’t understand the fact that other person thinks differently and can have different views.

It was a time of election in Delhi. Aam Aadmi Party and Arvind Kejriwal were common among people’s chit chats. The Monk had a good understanding of politics. His Maithili accent told that he is from Bihar. I never mind listening to what people say. I hear them. If I find someone wrong I don’t interrupt. I let them speak. I convey my views after listening to them. At times it happen that people don’t let you speak; it’s the time when my diplomatic side works perfectly. Talk about the person and he will hear you for hours. Monk was a good orator and a good listener. Wilson, the young guy was equally polite. Usually I don’t comment on political issues. Of course, my ears were open while Wilson and the Monk were talking about politics.

After having guy’s discussion with Wilson our topic of discussion shifted to Religion. He told me about his encounter with a qazi (a Muslim judge). I got to know much about Islam from Wilson, who in fact had heard it from the qazi. The Monk was listening to our conversation. A preacher is meant to preach his/her religion. We people tend to have a negative connotation to all the things a preacher says. Of course, it’s wrong if a preacher preaches his religion by dominating other religions. The Monk participated in our conversation and he expressed his views on Islam. He gave respect to the religion. He told about Bhikkhu’s and Buddhism.

I don’t mind talking about religion with unknown people. I didn’t know the Monk as well as Wilson. Neither had they known me. But the conversation was informative. I gained a lot out of it. We are not abusing anyone on the grounds of religion or caste. If a Hindu says that he is vegetarian and he hates meat it doesn’t mean he hates a person who eats meat. Stereotypes exist who can’t even tolerate the company, touch or presence of people belonging to certain religion or who practice certain things which are not in their own religion. Society is the reflection of you. I think secular and I see everyone secular. Words control everything. Words can stop a war and words can start a war. The future of this world lies in hands of Diplomatic abilities of nations. The concept of soft power is on rise. Talking and knowing about each other’s religion is a small example of the big picture called Diplomacy can save us. So next time you get to talk about religion go ahead and explore. There is lot to learn than you can expect. Be polite and a good listener.