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What India, What America?

Me: Hi
She: Hi 

Me: I need your help

men_vs_women
She: (with her arms folded around her chest) How can I help you?
Me: I need a quick female opinion on…….

Conversation kicks off but her body language contradicts with her words. She seems to be open with her answers but her body is closed. Why? Possible reasons could be that she is unaware of my intentions or probably she sees me as a threat. Did I do anything? Was my body language projecting my need for mating? Do I always look desperate for sex? Was I really desperate? Did I think of sex before approaching her? There are many questions that can arise out of the situation.

India is witnessing a change in male-female relationships. Women today are competing with men and are having a greater exposure than they had in the past few decades. On the other hand, men aren’t familiar with the situation where women can lead men. We all will remain slaves of our mating instincts no matter how much we progress. This is the root cause of all the problems that are encountered in the contemporary Indian society. Men see women as potential mates and women tend to protect themselves from mating. Apart from mating, men-women in the modern world share lots of other relationships. First we need to understand the fact that mating is basic to humans all over the world. A man will always see at butt when a woman leaves the door. There’s nothing wrong. But the way such things are perceived in today’s society has some issues.

She: (with her hands in front of her body, palms up and shoulders shrugged) This is not the place where you can talk with men. Big cities or metro cities are places where people won’t mind if a girl and boy talks. Also, people are quite open minded.
Me: What do you mean by open minded?
She: You know, just because I am nice to him, he shouldn’t think that I like him. Just because we are talking doesn’t mean I want him to fuck me.
Me: Why don’t you find me narrow minded? You didn’t give a thought before using the word ‘fuck’ in front of me.
She: (laughs) Everyone is not like you.
Me: I know

What I want to say is, a girl and a boy can have conversation at any place and at any time. It’s all in your mind that a particular place is good and a particular place is bad. To change the society we need to change individual thinking. If women aren’t open to men, if they perceive men as nothing but addicts of their carnal desires they would do nothing except creating barriers between their freedom and themselves. Freedom is a state of mind. Men on the other hand, need to understand that being casanova isn’t the only way to define your masculinity. Don’t approach women with the pure intention of getting laid. Believe me a woman can make a lot of difference in your life besides tits and ass.

She: Someone sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Me: What did you do?
She: Nothing, he’s a jerk
Me: How did you know?
She: We don’t have any mutual friend, I don’t know him personally.
Me: Yes you are right, you don’t know him personally. What if he had approached you in real life say, at a coffee shop?
She: Why me?
Me: Because you’re pretty, charming and interesting.
She: I know, and I hate when people stare at me. Ha, if someone handsome is there, I would give it a thought. (winks with a naughty smile)
Me: (laugh) 

Well, Facebook or any other social networking media has privacy options. Its individuals call if they like to be open or private. In case of real life, beautiful women are approached daily by lots of men. They like some and they reject a few. There’s no harm in approaching a beautiful women unless you want her directly in your bed after exchanging Hi.

We all watch american movies. We have seen how they have defined men-women relationships. At some point we want to have such relationships. Friends with benefits, No strings attached, Love and other drugs have exceptionally defined romance in a new way. Is it possible to understand the true nature of such relationships at a place where people have gender bias at every step. You visit any temple, any queue of people waiting for paying electricity bill or buying railway tickets, most of the schools and colleges you will see men and women have different lanes, different benches, different queues. Why? A child goes to school and from his childhood he sees a girl as something different, because she sits in a different row than boys. Worst is the case with same sex schools. Do you think he would be able to mix up with women at work place? How much do they understand each other? Is healthy flirting a different thing? Most of the people will say flirting is bad. They will immediately doubt other person’s intentions. You cannot flirt with your friend. If she has a boyfriend then she is double pissed, first by your unusual flirting and later by her boyfriend’s possessiveness. Sex is fun. But is often perceived as a bad thing. Who made it bad? We.
We need to understand the basics of human relations. Of course I would mate with a woman rather than a sheep. I am not that animal fantasy guy. But this doesn’t mean I can’t have a casual conversation with women. This doesn’t mean I can stay out at night and work with a beautiful lady. This doesn’t say that if my profession is to photograph nude models, I won’t arouse their emotions by little bit of flirting to have better pictures. How else would you maintain professionalism if you aren’t in control of your carnal desires? Remember healthy flirting? One thing that needs to be changed is parenting the child in terms of relationships. A teenager is ought to have or at least think of sexual encounters. Our job is to guide him the right way. He is physically ready for intercourse. Our task is to prepare him mentally with proper ethics. Until we are clear and above our mating instincts we wont be able to enjoy a true male-female relationship.

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WHAT’S YOUR RELATION?

You have experienced a bad relationship. Heartbreaks can be really painful. You meet someone who gives you attention, affection, care and love. Your mind subconsciously wants to experience love again, and even if you want to avoid dating for a while, you can’t help but fall into the trap of love almost immediately. But you have no idea about how the relationship is going. You’re having a lot of fun in your new lover’s arms, but you don’t even know what kind of a relationship you’re in. You’re more focused on the fun part of the new romance than the serious parts that really matter in a new relationship. You may find yourself in a confused state of mind often even though you’re happy in your new romance. Almost always, you’ll be happy when you’re with your new squeeze but depressed and confused when you’re alone. It takes time to get over someone you truly loved. For some, it may take a few weeks and for others, it may take several months.

It may seem like you’re opening up to your new lover by frankly talking about your ex like you have no feelings for them. But deep inside, the whole reason you’re talking about your ex with anyone who cares to listen is because you still have feelings for them. You don’t remember how you got over your ex. You may hate your ex or feel relieved to have ended the relationship with them. You may even be happy with your new partner. But deep down inside, you know you’ll step right back into your ex’s arms if they just make a sweet move at you. You may try to convince yourself that you’re over your ex and happy in a new relationship, but the fact that your ex still occupies so many of your happy thoughts means you’re still not over them.

You want attention. You just want to reassure yourself that you’re still hot stuff and can get attention whenever you want. You find yourself constantly looking out even though you’re in a new relationship already.

All these things only reveal your current state of mind. If you’re in a relationship for any reason but love, it’s a sure sign that you’re only passing through a rebound relationship to bide your time. But are you in an intentional rebound relationship? If you’re in a rebound relationship, it’s always best to tell your new lover that you’re not ready for a serious relationship just yet. It’ll help both of you take things slowly without too many expectations or heartbreaks.

If you’re truly in love, you’ll be afraid to take chances or make any hasty moves. But if you’re in a rebound relationship, all you’d want to do is go full speed ahead into the relationship because you don’t really care about losing your new love. You’re not trying to make the relationship work. You’re happy and your new date is happy. You don’t look for ways to keep the relationship alive. All you want is someone who can hold you when you want to be held.

Just because you’re experiencing these signs of a rebound relationship doesn’t mean your new found romance is doomed from the start. The decision to enter the next phase of love or just play it casual is still in your own hands.

Men and Changing Women

Changing-Woman-Protects-Her-SonsWomen weren’t allowed freedom when it came to expressing desire and were expected to internalize this attitude as part of their being. Many did. But today she accepts her desire. She allows her desire to play out. She faces the consequences of her desire. And in her single-minded pursuit, she leaves the man in her bed confused and clueless. She dresses the way she wants to, marries when she wants to and becomes a mother when she wants to. From affairs to contraception to masturbation, her desire impels her on a journey of discovery. A Woman who takes independent decisions is a source of male anxiety and where such decisions relate to women’s sexuality, it can lead to calamitous consequences. When Men have affairs outside a relationship women are not expected to quit from the relation. But when a woman has it, the man will certainly do it. Have women finally attained the freedom to assert their sexuality and practice it to the degree that men do? Do we (Men) have that ‘broad minded’ attitude to accept women’s’ independence in true sense??

Stereotypes do exist in our society. Like animals are classified in taxonomy, in the same way these stereotypes classify men and women as different species. We are called “Manavas” which has the word “Mann”- meaning mind. If we look at a woman as Manav, we would know that she has a mind and a flesh of woman. One should look into the mind and not the flesh. It applies to women as well. When a guy approaches you it’s not just for Sex. Of course, physical intimacy may exist in latter stages, but not always. A guy can make a girl his best friend. Be with each other and understand/know each other instead of being assumptive at the beginning. I am not asking anyone to get away with a stranger you find on road. At least you can be assertive when you are approaching someone. No two men are alike and no two women are alike.

Men should understand the changing women around them. I get to see a guy ‘tolerating’ that his girl had few relationships in the past. The key word here is tolerate. We do not accept, but tolerate. Acceptance is at times harder! What if we accept and not tolerate? The answer is we would understand her. 🙂

When Men have affairs outside a relationship women are not expected to quit from the relation. But when a woman has it, the man will certainly do it. Why? But modern woman is independent and will certainly kick your ass if required.

I love to flirt. 😉 What if my girlfriend flirts with someone attractive friend of her?  I flirt with an attractive friend when my partner isn’t around. If you flirt with someone, it doesn’t have to mean that you’re interested in sleeping with them. Would you hate yourself if you have a warm and pleasant conversation with someone of the opposite sex? Flirting is a natural ability of humans, and it makes us feel really good about ourselves. Instead of restricting yourself or behaving like entering a relationship means banning all happy interactions with the opposite sex, learn to accept that even if you or your partner indulges in a bit of harmless flirting now and then, it doesn’t’t mean either of you love the other person any less. If you love your partner, it’s within your moral control to hold yourself back from going any further or cheating on them. Restrictions from outside won’t change anything. This is what a modern girl means when she says; I don’t like my guy being possessive.

Be a Man and respect Women! 🙂