I wake up in bed with rays of sunlight rising up my body from my toes to head. I want to sleep more on the soft and firm bed. A fragrance, truly feminine which has sophisticated floral composition tunes my chords. Her fragrance along with the first rays of sunshine is impossible to forget. She is lying on her back with her head tilted slightly away from me. One of her knee is slightly bent which accentuate her curves. She’s damn hot. A fitting white cotton tee and crimson red panties are making me stare at her. She places one arm behind her neck as she lie down, and stretches her body when I am looking at her. This elongates her body; damn she looks so feminine and curvy. She bends one knee slightly outwards just to reveal her soft thighs. Her skin is soft and supple. She is so comfortable with her body that she just push her sheets down all the way to her waist. I plant a kiss on her soft rosy lips. She gives a smile with her eyes closed. The air is filled with ecstasy and joy that had spread due to perfect blend of love and lust, the perfect ingredients for romantic love.
I walk towards the balcony of our apartment on 18th floor. I see a pretty picture, with a lagoon resembling a palette of the hues of blue and green, and the sparkling white sand. Nothing written or told could even come close to the magic that emanates from this view. I sit on a vintage styled wooden chair kept in the balcony. She gets up from the bed. Her black silky hair are falling on her shoulders, her healthy pretty face is glowing and reflecting the ecstasy we had from making love last night. I see into her eyes as she walks towards me. There’s something about eye contact that makes the moment you share together in bed all the more intimate. It makes you realize that there is just this one person in the whole world who can make you feel this way. She places her lap on my lap and gosh I love those lingering touch she gives. I kiss her hard. Heaven! She sits on the chair in front of me and we both have coffee. Nothing is ever beautiful than a company of your loved one……
You have experienced a bad relationship. Heartbreaks can be really painful. You meet someone who gives you attention, affection, care and love. Your mind subconsciously wants to experience love again, and even if you want to avoid dating for a while, you can’t help but fall into the trap of love almost immediately. But you have no idea about how the relationship is going. You’re having a lot of fun in your new lover’s arms, but you don’t even know what kind of a relationship you’re in. You’re more focused on the fun part of the new romance than the serious parts that really matter in a new relationship. You may find yourself in a confused state of mind often even though you’re happy in your new romance. Almost always, you’ll be happy when you’re with your new squeeze but depressed and confused when you’re alone. It takes time to get over someone you truly loved. For some, it may take a few weeks and for others, it may take several months.
It may seem like you’re opening up to your new lover by frankly talking about your ex like you have no feelings for them. But deep inside, the whole reason you’re talking about your ex with anyone who cares to listen is because you still have feelings for them. You don’t remember how you got over your ex. You may hate your ex or feel relieved to have ended the relationship with them. You may even be happy with your new partner. But deep down inside, you know you’ll step right back into your ex’s arms if they just make a sweet move at you. You may try to convince yourself that you’re over your ex and happy in a new relationship, but the fact that your ex still occupies so many of your happy thoughts means you’re still not over them.
You want attention. You just want to reassure yourself that you’re still hot stuff and can get attention whenever you want. You find yourself constantly looking out even though you’re in a new relationship already.
All these things only reveal your current state of mind. If you’re in a relationship for any reason but love, it’s a sure sign that you’re only passing through a rebound relationship to bide your time. But are you in an intentional rebound relationship? If you’re in a rebound relationship, it’s always best to tell your new lover that you’re not ready for a serious relationship just yet. It’ll help both of you take things slowly without too many expectations or heartbreaks.
If you’re truly in love, you’ll be afraid to take chances or make any hasty moves. But if you’re in a rebound relationship, all you’d want to do is go full speed ahead into the relationship because you don’t really care about losing your new love. You’re not trying to make the relationship work. You’re happy and your new date is happy. You don’t look for ways to keep the relationship alive. All you want is someone who can hold you when you want to be held.
Just because you’re experiencing these signs of a rebound relationship doesn’t mean your new found romance is doomed from the start. The decision to enter the next phase of love or just play it casual is still in your own hands.
“Waiting is Painful. Forgetting is Painful. But not knowing which to do is worst kind of Suffering” – Paulo Coelho
How helpless have you ever felt? It wasn’t when I failed to pass a paper for three consecutive times, or when I worked on a project which was getting complicated every single day. I wasn’t helpless when I had no money in my pocket or when I had to spend a day without food. The quote above describes my helplessness at the moment.
A man can live on hope. WAITING for someone means hoping that the person will be with you in the future. It’s beautiful to imagine. One needs a strong will, trust, and endurance to keep such a hope. It is not necessary that you will get what you want at the time you want it. But desire to have it impels one to try harder till he gets it. Waiting in love is painful especially when your love is away and with someone else. Love is so powerful that one tends to forget himself and live for his love. What makes this easy is the fact that your love is away from you because of certain bounding, compulsion, or helplessness and not because she doesn’t love you. All you know is you are waiting for someone who loves you equally as you do.
What if your love is living happily with someone who loves her more than you do? You feel happy for her and try to FORGET her. Well that’s not easy. You are happy but at the same time you are hurt. It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds’. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In the time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
But when someone blows hot and cold in love, life becomes COMPLICATED. What if your love is not sure about her feelings for you? I never doubt my own feelings. I know what I feel for someone. At times I may doubt someone’s feelings for me, but I never doubt my feelings for someone. Falling in Love is supposed to be a happy experience and not a confusing one. I don’t give false hopes and I don’t live on false hopes. “I would come to you one day. If you are available I would be happy and if not I won’t mind because when I love it alone suffice me.” Whoa! She’s in love with me and I should wait for her. But a moment later I get to hear, “I feel strongly for you, but it is not love because love is pure madness. I haven’t yet achieved that madness.” Well this raises a hope that Johnny you’ve to try harder to make her fall. This would raise a hope and make it difficult for you to forget her. Again a moment later I hear something totally different, “I can never get committed. I am not sure if I would feel the same after few years as I feel it now. I want to see how I feel for you after four years.” Fuck! I sit down in disappointment with my hands on my head. So it’s a relationship which has everything but COMMITMENT. At times I hear this one: “We are not into any relationship.” So there is no relationship and no commitment.
I am helpless. When I am away, I restore myself. I would find a way out of it.
It’s a cold Sunday morning. I am sitting in the front balcony of my home. There’s a public park in front of my home, full of people, busy doing yoga. I can see sun peeping through skies, playing hide and seek with clouds. Cold winds blowing and making me shiver as I write this article. I take my coffee mug which is yellow in colour with a message “No smoking Only drinking”, in hand and take a sip of Bru Gold coffee with brown sugar (a packet or two). The coffee is strong, dark and hot! As soon as I keep the mug on sides of balcony I start thinking about people who are there in my life. How I met them? How they became a part of my life? I keep my feet on another chair in front of me with laptop on my lap, headphones plugged in my ears and playing “Breathe 2AM” by Anna Nalick. I place my fingers on my laptop keyboard and it reminds me of a girl who used to compliment my fingers. They are long and thin. The way in which my fingers press around laptop keyboard fascinated her. There are other reasons too for her to like my fingers! 😉 Someone has said it right: “People come and go what remains at last are memories.”
I turn on Flava app and it displays a page with date January 12, 2014 and time 9:45 AM. I start writing about people in my life. Sooner or later I hear my sister calling my name “Kabir”, she added, “Have you read today’s Times Life?” She brings the newspaper magazine and I start reading the article having title: “How I start my day”. Fatima Bhutto, a poet and a writer expresses her way of starting her day. At the end of the article I think of myself. How do I start my day? The day began on 00:00 when I was in the middle of chatting with the girl next door. Or did it start with the calls from my mother “Kabir, its quarter to 8:00 get off the bed.” I drag my lazy ass to brush my teeth and my mouth freezes with chilled water coming through the tap. I rinse my mouth quickly to breathe some air in and out. Fuck! That was damn cold. My sister is busy searching a nice song on 5 to 6 music channels aired on our digital TV. I log into Facebook and look for updates from my friends. My friends are as lazy as me, they comment on my status which was uploaded before two days. We are so alike! A writer never goes off his writing. Finally, I start writing at around 9:45 AM and guess what I completed this article you have just read.