Looking at the see-through bubble tents I amazed myself with the ideas of leaving aside everything and having a great time living inside such tents. It’s really easy. I just need to put hand in my pocket and buy myself the pleasure of sitting, staring at the clouds, thinking about nothing and sleeping without a care.
Why is it so that we like lives of other people and find our lives boring? It’s because we never buy ourselves the bubble we want to live in. Yes, that’s true. We all tend to live in an invisible bubble around us which is made of our daily thoughts. Am I asking you to build an imaginary life made of nothing but thoughts? What we are today is the result of our thoughts in past. I think readers who are reading this have got the answer.
Changing thought process is not a one day process. To buy thoughts is not as easy as to buy two nights at Bubble Tree. It’s really difficult to find your life interesting at a point where you have nothing of what you’ve thought. Hence a research gets much of attention because it states the true fact: 47 per cent of our thinking has aimless thoughts. We tend to get stuck in the very thought process of “I have nothing”, “I am getting bored”, “This is not good”, etc. Slowly we get adapted to such thinking. We accept our life but unknowingly we change our behaviour. In the modern-day book of etiquettes there is no greater sin than that of being dull. We live dull lives. Why?
While I am writing this I am looking at the picture where a chair lies outside the bubble tree tent. Imagine yourself sitting on the chair and have a look at your own life. If you are still thinking of dullness in your life then beware you’re not on the chair outside. Now think of beautiful aspects in your life. See how beautiful your life is. See the aspects of life which were getting ignored when you were inside the bubble. You’ve started your transition to a better life. Well begun is half done!
While going through my compendium of words, I found a word: Metanoia – the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life. One of the great Indian minds has said: Change is the only constant thing. What is it that you’ve tried to change in your life?
Recently one of my friends called me up and said that he is trying to make a change in his life. Forgiveness is what he is experimenting. Well, forgiving someone is really hard. In that endeavour he is incrementally adopting the change. He cannot adopt the change in a cold turkey style and go on saying ‘hi’ to people he hasn’t yet forgiven. First he has to forget everything that had happened in the past. He has to ensure that nothing will touch a wrong string and make it difficult for him to approach again. Next, a ‘hi’ does 75 per cent work. Once you forgive you shed the entire ‘unnecessary’ load you are carrying along with you. Whatever happens next is genuine, whole-hearted and true.
After every fall I have changed myself. The change has made me move ahead with dignity. If it was my mistake I kept it close to my heart, reminded myself of it every day, let it grow inside me and finally change myself so that I do something good that’s far more better than the mistake. In my teenage, a naughty comment on a girl’s boobs held me guilty in front of my parents, classmates, and friends. I was asked to catch my ears and say sorry to every girl in my class except a female friend who supported me. Every girl except one in the class believed that I am a pervert. What it taught me was something I adore even today. It changed me. I don’t care about what people think of me. Those who find me good live with me and those who find me bad try not to see my face. 😉 Life’s simple.
To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future –Plutarch
Every mistake has taught me something. Every hard time has given me the ability to make right decision. I don’t carry my mistakes. I carry the lessons I learned from them. At present I am facing a biggest change in my life. It’s about my own perception about me. How do I see myself? How do I live with myself? Do I make myself happy? What is it that I reflect? I am on a journey to re-invent myself. It’s incremental and continuous.
It is said that “God helps them that helps themselves”. It’s quite true. But nowadays, Self-Help resources like books, magazines, blogs, and videos help people a lot. One should always thrive to improve self and in that endeavour taking help of such resources is not a sin. One who wants to improve “intellectually” is advised (by the Self-Help authors) to ask three questions prior to do anything: What, Why, and How. So why not apply these questions to the Self-Help resources itself? What is Self-Help? Why do I need Self-Help? How will I find ways to Self-Help? Let’s deal with each of them.
Wikipedia defines Self-Help as a self-guided improvement—economically, intellectually, or emotionally—often with a substantial psychological basis. For me Self-Help is nothing but an attempt to make ourselves what we desire out of ourselves. It’s like improving ourselves daily. It’s learning. The term Metanoia – the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self or way of life – suits perfectly to this context.
I remember that in my career as an engineering student we had a book by Dale Carnegie – Art of Public Speaking – in our curriculum. After reading the gist I wondered and asked myself a question: Do I really need to read the book prior to speaking in public? The question had an essence of self-confidence mixed with sarcasm. At the same time there were few students in my class who lacked the self-confidence that they can be a good orator held the book as a “divine blessing”. I never meant to disrespect the author and at the same time I never meant to underestimate myself. The author has given his best to the bestselling book around the globe. I read the book and adored it. Reading such texts one would surely develop a notion about learning through Self-Help resources. Recently I read an article being published on the World Wide Web dealing with matters of Love. It had everything starting from “how to ask a girl for a date” to “how to end a relationship like a real man”. I just broke into laughter. My point is one need to reach such resources only when she/he has the confidence that she/he cannot do a thing but has a desire to do it.
Now the last question is quite interesting and important. How will I Help Myself? Now every Self-Help material starts their mentoring with this question. In my childhood I used to hear lots of stories from my grandma and my mother. At the end of the stories they used to give me moral-of-the-story, followed with a question: Did you understand? Well I never understood anything because I used to “hear” them. There were proverbs written on the walls of our classroom. I used to read them, but never thought about what they mean. As soon as my parents allowed me to live with the attitude “let me handle myself” I started encountering problems. My problems are the opening doors to start helping myself. Understanding self is the foremost thing one should do. Knowing one’s strength and weakness helps a lot. It makes you strong, confident, and a good learner. Improve on your weakness to transform them into your strengths. Now I don’t hear, but listen. I don’t read, but understand. I don’t see but observe.
A friend of mine had a breakup with his girlfriend. It was hard time for him. Soon he started blaming himself and things became worst for him. He was losing his self-esteem. He took help of Self-Help book on matters of love. Now he was feeling good and gaining confidence. In reality he was following the tips without applying his own mind. The ‘good’ feeling was temporary. No book can teach you how to behave at every moment of your life. It is said that a real teacher is one who gives you the vision and not just the view. In case of Self-Help we are our teachers. Merely reading the Self-Help materials won’t help unless you apply your mind. Just by reading “how to become a good orator” or “how to be a real man” won’t make you either of it. Next time when you go through such thing remember to apply your own brains. Or else it will lead you nowhere.