It took me seconds to fall asleep after the tiring whole day routine at the office. Dreams in the form of pictures started running over my head. I was lost in dreams. How I met him. Damn, he looks so charming. I remembered how he approached me that night. His eyes, intense, were penetrating my eyes. They were looking me- the part that I don’t show to this world. Everything was dark but I could see his eyes sparkling. I remember his voice, his smile, and his hands on me. Oh God! I love this man. CS9269

I was dreaming and suddenly something touched me. I didn’t bother to wake up and look for it. It felt warm, soft and tender. Someone was exploring my body the way I want it. Fuck! It was so arousing. The touch was arousing. I felt a warm breath reaching close to my ears. A known sound whispered, “Imagine you are at a party. You’re tipsy after the six rounds of tequila shots. Now you’re dancing and swaying to the music… you’re dancing alone. Suddenly you feel a hand move across your bare back. You’re wearing a backless halter and you feel the hand slipping into the top, over your breasts from behind you. You don’t know who it is, but you can feel the hot, deep breath of a man you don’t know. You don’t care who it is, you’re drunk and you want to be felt all over. Now you see the hands groping all over your breasts in the smoky flickering lights of the discotheque. You can’t see the person too well and very soon you find yourself in his arms and your hands groping over the bulge of his pants…” I opened my eyes to see him lying naked beside me as he was undressing me. He kissed me on my neck and whispered, “Are you having fun? Does it turn you on….?” “You have such a dirty mind, and it works on me!” I replied as I raised and bite his ear. He was naked and the only red ribbon tied around his neck was little surprising until he said, “Happy Birthday Sweetheart.” Wow! He is my birthday gift. I loved the romantic gesture he passed onto me.

There was a sudden change as he pulled my hair and kissed me hard. “I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I’m going to do to you tonight” he said. He was talking softly while the sheets under my butt were getting bunched up. “Undress me” I said as I raised my arms. I was losing myself in his arms as he was reaching every depth. He felt so good in me such that I screamed out loud in ecstasy. We were on a sexual high where all our pain in making love turned into sexual adrenaline. I was tired by the office work, but then waking up in the middle of night and making love tired me in a different way which was full of ecstasy. It made me feel appreciated and admired.


Why do I write?

176394547_640From past few days I am trying to write something, something about myself. Every time I start writing I end up deleting it. I ask myself a question: Who is interested in reading about me? I am not a celebrity so that people would gossip about my personal life. But finally I made it. I asked myself a set of questions: Am I interested in my own life? Am I doing something in life so that it’s worth making a note of it?

I have had always thought of living a life such that I would die writing the beautiful experience I had within my life span. When I think of my forefathers, my grandfather I always wonder how they would have lived their life. There’s a mystery. I wander asking my relatives to share something about them. Some say that my physical appearance is just like my grandpa, some say my anger is like him, some say I am totally different because he made our home a temple and on the contrary I am an atheist. Some say he too owned a black dog like I do. Some even compare us based on our sun signs – Aries. Date wise I am a Capricorn, but in India we usually follow moon sign which makes me and my grandpa Arian. Isn’t it a great idea to make a note your life happenings and keep it for others (probably your younger generations) to read? I mean, imagine you are getting to know everything from your forefathers’ past like, experiences both good and bad, thoughts, crushes, and relationships with friends, family, and life-partner. This in turn will let us know where we belong. Many-a-times I wonder why our surname changed from “Vaidya” to “Karnale”? Elders at my home says my father’s grandpa was a doctor hence our name Vaidya meaning doctor in Sanskrit. Why Karnale? There are similar questions which are left unanswered.

Now I do write. I write about my life. I write about my experiences. I write down my thoughts and views. I write to express. I write for myself and others. I write letters to love of my life (though undelivered). Sometimes I write in happiness and sometimes I write in grief. I turned 23 a week ago. With Shani (Saturn) in 10th house (मृत्यु स्थान) of my Kundli, any expert astrologer would say that I will live long (I don’t believe in astrology). Hence, I have to write a lot 😉 For that I live free, live more because I know someone would be reading it in the future. Moreover, I come close to myself, I understand myself even more. I explore the true self when I write about me. Try writing about yourself and see how many pages you can write. It’s indeed a fun, because most of us don’t know about themselves.